My brain is an interesting place to live sometimes. For the most part the two of us have worked out an uneasy truce somewhat akin to a very tired parent and a cranky two year-old.
For various reasons this week was one of the bad ones. So I let it dictate what color socks it was going to wear, what kind of ice cream to have for dinner, what order M&M colors needed to be eaten in, and tried to find it all amusing.
In return I get to function as a mostly normal adult until the good days roll back around (as they always do)– it’s not a bad brain, it’s just needs things to be Just So sometimes.
And it’s worth it, dealing with every weird quirk and strange sideway hop, because from that grows everything else I am.
On sunny, windy days I walk out for lunch, squint into the sky, unfurl imaginary wings and soar.
I can sing songs that didn’t exist until I picked the first note and lyrics that tumble into place in rhythm with my footbeats to be forgotten five minutes after I start walking.
Universes rise and fall on those walks. Dreams shiver into being, are torn apart and are rebuilt, a thousand variations of what could be, might be, reworked into stories that are filed away for future use.
I can be normal, but sometimes I just have to not be.
It has been a crazy couple of months since my last update on this list. We’ve moved houses, done emergency dog fostering, rolled up our sleeves and started prepping the old house to be a rental, and waded into the mess of unpacking before getting new roommates– whew!
So now that things have settled down a smidge, it’s time for me to start looking back over the list and see just how far I have left to go… (hint: walking to Mordor seems more plausible a goal at this point)
Which, I’d like to point out, I actually got done on the 1st– even if it is well past my self-assigned bedtime. So, erm, victory? (Someday I will master this whole ‘Being An Adult‘ thing, but not quite yet.)
I had problems focusing on accomplishing things last year, but the one thing I did end up stumbling into was the idea of trying new things instead of just improving old skills. The Silicone caulk molds and plaster and resin casting weren’t anything I’d ever done before, but they turned out to be a lot of fun! If a tad unorganized…
So this year I’m going to do things right and not lose sight of what I’m trying to accomplish. I’m scheduling posts for the first Saturday of each month for the rest of the year as check-ins. No way I’m losing track of this set of 12!
It’s been a long chaotic year, filled with twists and turns and a lot of ‘getting stuck in ruts’ that leave me feeling less accomplished than I normally do in these reviews.
Looking back, I never set any solid goals for this year, which may have been the problem. I’m itching to start off the new year with something a bit more coherent, so expect that post in the days to come…
But as always, I’m stubbornly determined to only focus on the good things from last year, so onwards!
Margaret’s post I Feel Like a Fake. Anyone Else? caught me at just the right moment this morning. I’d been wading through my old short stories trying to find bones to wrap NaNoWriMo wordcounts around, all while pushing aside art projects so I could see my desk.
She asked the question: What will it take for you to believe you’re an artist?
I thought about it, in terms of Artist and Writer and I’m honestly not sure where that bar is at for me. When people ask me I will always respond with “I’m an Artist/Writer, but…”
So I’m going to do an experiment!
Starting today I’m going to make a list of all the Buts and then I’m going to chase each of them down MythBuster‘s style and see if they are actually true.
I’ll do a post at least once a month on which Buts I’ve Busted and what the results were. (Some will obviously take less time to test than others.)
It’s been fun reading the posted responses to this– A lot of folks out there have deep and meaningful reasons for why they started blogging. In fact quite a lot of them have blogs specifically meant to inspire and improve the lives of their readers.
So why did I start (and keep) blogging?
My online life started in 1994, back when my website was an archive for my writings and my art. Then I stumbled into LiveJournal in 2005 and got into the habit of chatting to my readers and friends about the day-to-day craziness that is my life. Once I found self-hosted WordPress the transition back to my own site was a natural– although it took me several years to finally combine all my my different hobby blogs into one Megablog.
I love taking notes and organizing things (as my coworkers can attest) so this blog is basically just the notes of my life. I blog about what I’m doing, what I’ve done, what I plan to do– a running commentary that’s hopefully fun to read and fun to look back on years down the road.
As for what I hope to accomplish…I guess I aim to make you go commit art? (Or write stories, or build a treadmill computer, or play with code, or run a microbusiness, or– heck, I guess that all counts as art moreorless?)
I blog to entertain and to spark other folk’s Muses.
I blog to bring some theoretical structure and implied coherence to my life.
But mostly I blog because otherwise there are too many stories in my head…